By 
Already Chosen. No Proof Needed
By: Sara Nicole Tynan
Valentine’s Day has a way of getting loud. It’s loud in the school hallways when girls walk by holding bouquets and boxes of chocolates. Loud in the way attention shifts, names get called, and some people seem chosen while others quietly wonder where they fit. Maybe part of you tells yourself you shouldn’t care. That you’re being dramatic. That wanting flowers or a text or some kind of sign means your faith isn’t strong enough. But the truth is—you were created to want love. God made you with a heart that longs to be known, chosen, and cared for. That desire isn’t something you need to grow out of or feel embarrassed about. It’s part of how you were designed.
From the very beginning, God said it wasn’t good for people to be alone. We were made for connection—with Him first, and then with others in different ways and different seasons of life. Wanting to be chosen doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. The problem isn’t the desire. The problem is what we do with it. So many of us quietly learn that being noticed equals being valuable. That attention equals love. Attention says: “Look at me.” Affection says: “I choose you.” And when Valentine’s Day comes and goes without anything to show for it, anxiety creeps in and starts asking questions we never invited: “What’s wrong with me?” “Why not me?” “Will anyone ever choose me?”
Jesus doesn’t shame those questions. He meets them. Throughout Scripture, Jesus chooses people before they prove themselves. He sees women who are overlooked. He stays when crowds disappear. He doesn’t offer love that has to be earned or performed for—it’s given freely. And still…that doesn’t magically erase the ache. This is where real faith lives: in the middle. Living in the middle means learning how to want love without letting the want define you. It means allowing the feeling to exist without letting it lead your identity.
Sometimes living in the middle looks like walking past flowers and feeling the sting—without turning that sting into a story about your worth. It looks like admitting, “This hurts,” instead of pretending you’re fine or spiraling into self-rejection. A day on the calendar does not determine your future. And being single—or unnoticed—does not mean you are unchosen. For some girls, Valentine’s Day anxiety can also be about what happens when you are. Big gestures can feel uncomfortable, especially if they’re public or unexpected.
Sometimes it’s not that you don’t want to be liked—it’s that you don’t want to feel put on the spot before you’ve figured out how you actually feel. Jesus once said to consider the flowers of the field—how they grow without striving or performing. They don’t compete. They don’t panic about whether they’ll be enough or too much. They grow where they’re planted. Some seasons feel like mountaintops—seen, celebrated, obvious. Others feel like valleys—quiet, hidden, slow.
But flowers bloom in valleys, too. Living in the middle means trusting that God is still growing something in you, even when no one else is watching. Even when there’s no post. No gift. No proof. It also means learning to separate attention from affection. Attention is loud. It asks to be noticed. Affection is steady. It chooses to stay. Jesus offers presence, not performance-based love. And when you truly believe that, you stop begging to be picked and start guarding your heart with wisdom. You don’t chase crumbs just to feel chosen. You don’t make yourself smaller to feel safe in someone else’s approval. You begin to anchor yourself in something deeper than a moment. Instead of repeating empty affirmations, you live from quiet truths: You don’t panic when you’re alone because you are already seen. You don’t settle because you know you are deeply loved. You don’t rush the story because you trust the Author.
Valentine’s Day will pass. The flowers will fade. The posts will disappear. But the love of God doesn’t fluctuate with a calendar or a relationship status. You were chosen long before anyone thought to give you a gift. And if today feels like a valley, know this—God grows beautiful things there. You don’t need flowers to be chosen. You already are!